Bertie Ahern gets a pie in the face in Sligo


Whilst on his whistle-stop tour of the northwest, Bertie came in for a tasty snack-in-the-face in Sligo town (courtacy of the biotic baking brigade), just after six yesterday evening. That pie went down a treat with the hungry Bertie and his lapdogs, after their long day spent with their heads up every available arse in Leitrim and Sligo, so it came as a surprise that the kindly baker was hauled off to the local gardai station, and held for nearly 4 hours before being charged under artical6 of public order act.

Bertie went on to block traffic, cause a disturbance, and otherwise intimidate the local residents, before returning to the cake free safety of his Dublin retreat.


Irish Prime Minister Gets Pie in Face Sligo

6.30pm, Apr 12.

On his way from meeting his cronies at the local newspaper, Taoiseach (that's Prime minister in irish, but that's the _only_ difference) Bertie Ahern was greeted by Agent Whatever of the biotic Baking Brigade. At first she was unsure which was the target, as she was confronted by a mass of almost identical boring men in suits. As time was running short she plumped for the short, fat one in the middle. The gasp of the crowd told her she had found her allotted target. As she ran away she could hear the sloshing of dozens of eager face-lickers, jostling to help Bertie clean his face. Bertie is always surrounded by a gaggle of sycophants, eager to get a piece of the pie. Within seconds he was clean and off to smile at more of Sligo's finest citizens at the Chamber of Commerce dinner.

When asked for one of those funny statements BBB are famous for, Agent Whatever said, "I can't think of anything funny about Bertie Ahern, he seemed very angry. I thought he could take a joke but now I will be charged with a public order offence. Perhaps he is just another miserable, corrupt power junkie like all my friends think."

The Irish division of the BBB said "we have no idea who our next target will be. There is no shortage of corrupt politicians in Ireland. A pie thrown randomly near any government building would have a hard time not hitting some corrupt old git. That's the main reason we have been inactive so far; it isn't really much of a challenge." &endash;


COURT STATEMENT - pass on to those who care 'why'

Ahern and others in positions of power (regardless of party) are respected automatically without having to do anything to earn that respect. Because they don't have to earn it, they abuse it. It's time for the respect to become conditional. Lies and deception should be unacceptable. By pieing Ahern I was showing what respect is really due to him, not for his position, but for what he has done and continues to do while using that position. He's just a front man for big business, and that has no respect for Irish culture or the land, or the people. It knows no boundaries and destroys all it touches.

I am deeply worried about the future these people are building, which my children will have to live in.

Ahern is as Taoiseach, responsible for the Common Agricultural Policy, which along with motorways was a crucial part of Adolf Hitler's plan for European domination. Every bit of land is farmed intensively with inappropriate animals and plants, so there is no wild life left and the mountains turn to bare rock and the topsoil is washed into the sea, beyond the reach of future generations.

Ahern and other politicians allow Coillte to take the people's common land and turn it into a tree farm where nothing but money trees can live. Coillte have poisoned our ground water with their pesticides and are still doing so. There have been numerous cases of children being poisoned by their sprays, yet when I tried to bring them to account through the Dail, via TD, Joe Higigns, the questions were not allowed. The system had been set up in such a way that they don't even have to answer questions from the people on whose behalf they claim to hold the land.

GM crops were introduced without any vote, and debate only happened after their introduction; none of the viable parties to vote for opposed them. And what about all the chemical companies who are only in Ireland becase can get away with polluting our air and water? Did we get to vote on them?

Ahern got into power using lies. He promised he would not change our constitution and sign us up to PfP, ie. NATO. But when he got into power he ignored the people's wishes and signed away our neutrality. Shannon is used as a US air base and Ahern is currently trying to steamroller us into accepting the increased militarisation of Europe via the Treaty of Nice. The government has spent millions on new weapons, manufactures and exports weapons, conducts military research in universities, and generally toes the industrial military line.

Already this country looks and feels exactly the same as any other country in the EU. We forgot everything that Connolly, Pearse, Collins and thousands of nameless warriors died for in our mad scramble for mobile phones and bigger roads. Our self-sufficient, diverse, and vibrant communities are being wiped out. Our sense of ourselves as being a group of happy, rooted people with control over our lives is eroded. We've lost our forests, our independence, our culture...and for what? Have you noticed how miserable everyone is? It's no wonder most people stay holed up in their concrete boxes, only venturing out to their boring, useless jobs and then back to the telly, to their daily dose of propaganda.

Here in the North West especially, the sea used to provide coastal communities with a living. Not only fish, but abundant wild life on the coast. Between pollution and big corporate trawlers, there are hardly any fish left, no living for local fishermen and hardly any of the sea birds we used to see.

Unquestioned development like big shopping centres and the new roads they spawn fragment our communities, erasing differences between counties and within them, destroying our native identity, replacing it with an homogenised english/american car culture. This culture of crime and violence is one my children are growing up in and it scares me. Irish businessmen get rich pumping american TV culture into our homes and pubs, replacing our local songs and stories. It doesn't matter who you vote for, the Euro/American corporate agenda is forced down our necks anyway.

This thing sweeping Ireland, this agenda, is like a rising tide, a tsunami impacting our consciousness with revolutionary force, levelling our villages, sweeping away our shrines and altars, sweeping everything, everything out to sea.?

End of statement. Also, it was great fun. And acts of defiance should be fun, joyful, empowering. Placard-waving, petition-signing, etc. is boring and ineffectual. Time for activists in Ireland to start enjoying their rebellion.


Bairbre was in Sligo courthouse (Thursday 18th) today for the verdict on her piethrowing crime. After many hours her charge finally came up, to which the judge said the following; "I think we should protect politicians" until after the election, he then pondered over when the elections would be, and adjourned her case until July the 4th... ??

I suppose he doesn't want to be seen to be swaying the election by passing a leniant/harsh judgement, or maybe waiting till the meeja glare is off so he can dish out whatever he feels like, who knows. Quite good news was that there was an RTE cameraman there who gave Bairbre about a minutes time (where she read out a previously prepared press statement; see Ruari's message) so maybe that'll be on the news later. Also there were 2 photographers, one local and one national, and she was on the phone with a few radio stations through the day. So that's all quite good.


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